Molarrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

In the Doctors Surgery

Names that were called out

On the tannoy would ensure

That laughter could sprout:

Patients, even feeling glum

Grim, sad, in deep pain

Felt a brief cure coming on

As down they did rain!

The first, Mrs Midia

Her first name was: Claire!

Soon came a chap: Mr Ayke,

A chap with singed hair

Edward Ayke the tannoy grinned

Ed Ayke! What a name!

And it wasn't very long

For more laughs the same:

Mr Scratch was next called in

Mr Ivor Scratch!

He was itching quite a lot

(Hope it didn't catch!)

Master Bates a spotty brat

Was next, then Miss Pann;

Miss Louise Pan, Lou for short,

With a most flushed tan!

Mrs Phant was soon called out

Mrs Ellie Phant!

Strangely she had heavy feet,

Next, a stroppy rant:

Mr Yelling, face red raw

Shouted: "I've been here

Waiting for an hour now!

Warm has turned my beer!"

A strange bloke called Allan Key

(He has a screw loose)

Followed, then a Mr Hang

Carrying a noose!

A posh woman, wearing chains

(Worse than Mr T)

Entered and said "How d'ya do?

My name is Holl-eeeee!

"Holly Wood, I am a star

Red carpet should be

Rolled out, these high heels I wear

Cost a bomb! Look! See!"

I just sat there with "the piss"

Running down my leg;

I heard a chap, Mr Pong

Cry out for a peg...

Jimmy White

Had a fright

In the middle of the night.

Broke his cue

(Snapped in two)

When he stumbled to the loo.

"Switching lights on prob is best"

He moaned as he took a REST.

Then he said "my skin is sore

I keep getting KICKS galore!

This game drives me POTTY! mad!

For a big BREAK I'll be glad..."

There is an EXTENSION yet...

And here it comes, so get set...

In the Harvester his cue

He once started to unSCREW...

Waiter said a TIP would be

Nice. He gave him... 50p!

("And for fans I will not BAULK..."

He thrilled. "Here's a pack of CHALK!")