Limericks!

There is a great man called Cricket

His medicine IS  just the ticket.

As the laughs pour

My tummy grows sore,

This habit - I'll never kick it!

An unlucky feller from Skye

Had a pip land in his eye.

It gave him an itch

And a freaky daft twitch

And put him right off apple pie!

There lived once a bloated old twit

Who went by the name of Cess Pit.

His cheeks: cherry red

And his gob: oft' well fed,

And he broke his bog pan when he s**t!

Bolivia's city: La Paz

Housed a rank geezer called Chaz.

No: whiter than white

As his drum got a fright,

So he sued powder company - Daz!

There was a mad feller called Billy

Who owned the LIVELIEST willy. 

He shook it about

And it made people shout,

And the bishop said he was silly.

A silly fat woman called Jayne

Got herself soaked in the rain. 

Her lazy old feller 

Had nicked her umbrella;

AT-CHOOOO, a cold she gives a-gain!