Story in Rhyme (2022 version)

Mr and Mrs Plopslop

Hated kids in style,

Each day they would think of ways

To destroy each smile.

Mr Plopslop was so thin

Tall and very wiry;

Mrs Plopslop - she was round

And her temper: fiery!

This pair were so VERY odd

(Barmy some would say);

Their fave hobby: TOILET PANS

(And air freshener spray!)

The sight of a dirty pan

Messed with mucky poop

Turned the duo ULTRA MAD

And - up it - they'd... SCOOP!

Yuck! Yes, they were rotten,

But they thought they were

Public Toilet Officers

As these pics confer:

They were both aged 64

Neither had a friend,

At Christmas - not a soul would

To them - a card - send.

Both were rude and miserable

Mean and cunning, too;

And, one day, they made a plan:

"STICK BUMS TO THE LOO!"

 (Just the bums of "smelly" kids,

 "Brats" they called them all;)

 "When, not if, it comes to pass

 We shall have a ball!"

Mrs Plopslop said one night

As they lay in bed,

With a bunch of wicked thoughts

Swimming round her head.

 "They are ALWAYS messing pans

 With their bottom splats,"

 Mr Plopslop moaned, "They are

 Filthy! Dirty rats!"

 "Yes!" shrilled Mrs Plopslop with

 A most horrid grin,

"All the mess they cause the pans

"Is one mighty sin!

"It is all that POP, you know

And that junk fast food,

That turns their bowels angry, it -

Puts them in a mood!"

Mrs Plopslop groaned and then

Picked her walnut nose

And wiped it most casually

On her rank night clothes!

"Bog splatters! Stand them I can't,

Bog Brats - we must STOP!

We must fix their rumps to pans

And NO MORE they'll plop!

"For all time their bum cheeks will

Stay stuck to each seat;

No more fizzy drinks they'll glug,

No more burgers - eat!"

 "Yes!" thrilled Mr Plopslop as

 He sucked his big toe,

 "Bogs have been destroyed by them

 As our photos show":

(The fools - they had wandered round

Every loo in town

Taking snaps and making notes

Jotting info down).

"We must put a stop to it,

Come the morn we'll start,"

Declared Mrs Plopslop while

Squeezing out a fart!