Mr and Mrs Plopslop
Hated kids in style,
Each day they would think of ways
To destroy each smile.
Mr Plopslop was so thin
Tall and very wiry;
Mrs Plopslop - she was round
And her temper: fiery!
This pair were so VERY odd
(Barmy some would say);
Their fave hobby: TOILET PANS
(And air freshener spray!)
The sight of a dirty pan
Messed with mucky poop
Turned the duo ULTRA MAD
And - up it - they'd... SCOOP!
Yuck! Yes, they were rotten,
But they thought they were
Public Toilet Officers
As these pics confer:
They were both aged 64
Neither had a friend,
At Christmas - not a soul would
To them - a card - send.
Both were rude and miserable
Mean and cunning, too;
And, one day, they made a plan:
"STICK BUMS TO THE LOO!"
(Just the bums of "smelly" kids,
"Brats" they called them all;)
"When, not if, it comes to pass
We shall have a ball!"
Mrs Plopslop said one night
As they lay in bed,
With a bunch of wicked thoughts
Swimming round her head.
"They are ALWAYS messing pans
With their bottom splats,"
Mr Plopslop moaned, "They are
Filthy! Dirty rats!"
"Yes!" shrilled Mrs Plopslop with
A most horrid grin,
"All the mess they cause the pans
"Is one mighty sin!
"It is all that POP, you know
And that junk fast food,
That turns their bowels angry, it -
Puts them in a mood!"
Mrs Plopslop groaned and then
Picked her walnut nose
And wiped it most casually
On her rank night clothes!
"Bog splatters! Stand them I can't,
Bog Brats - we must STOP!
We must fix their rumps to pans
And NO MORE they'll plop!
"For all time their bum cheeks will
Stay stuck to each seat;
No more fizzy drinks they'll glug,
No more burgers - eat!"
"Yes!" thrilled Mr Plopslop as
He sucked his big toe,
"Bogs have been destroyed by them
As our photos show":
(The fools - they had wandered round
Every loo in town
Taking snaps and making notes
Jotting info down).
"We must put a stop to it,
Come the morn we'll start,"
Declared Mrs Plopslop while
Squeezing out a fart!