Match Reports in Rhyme (2021/22 Season)

After a brief pre-match scare

With a hand grenade,

The "all-clear" was given, and

Our home game was played!

The Reds started brightly, and

Shortly took the lead;

The teamwork was so bright that

Sunglasses we'd need!

Galley played in Haylett, who

Drove a cross in low;

Who was there to meet it and

Start the Shannocks show...

Weybourne Road goal vandal

Super Timmy Cary,

Who can score for fun - his stats

In truth look quite scary!

Somehow it remained just one,

Devlin hit the post,

And his darting runs did leave

CBS for toast!

Norwich clipped the bar, which fired

Shezza up once more,

And control; pure dominance

We would soon restore.

Second half was much the same

Boycey got stuck in;

There were shots from everyone

(Chances were not thin!)

Silky passing, nice and slick;

Lawrence-Gate'te played well,

And the Shannocks Ultras broke

Free from their calm shell!

The hosts kept attacking, and

From the bench - guess who...

Came on to strike Messi-esque

To grab number two...

Connor Kerry drilled it low

From outside the box;

With a minute left to go

Double did our stocks!

From Coxy to Attree, the

Team were in the groove;

What a sight it is to view

Shannocks pass and move!

Billy Wenn: No Nonsense Man

A tank at the back,

Fires up the side and fans

Passion: he'll not lack!

Denham kept a clean sheet, which

I am sure will be

Over the season, just one

Of lots we will see.

Reds are on the road again -

Three times in a row...

Play like this and many more

Defences we'll mow!

After two - six points earned with

No signs of fatigue;

And, it's early days, we know:

But... we top the league!

Weybourne Road - September 4th,

Framlingham arrived,

And they (if truth be told) a:

Battering - survived!

Connor Kerry smashed the bar

But it wasn't long

Until Shannocks took the lead:

Diggo was on song!

A deep scramble in the box

Tickled, calm, the net

Before Fram hurled crosses in,

None though were a threat.

Most deliveries were weak,

Over-hit, quite poor;

Worse than Yodel! There was no

Parcel at their door.

Haylett bossed it down the right -

Billy Whizz on speed!

Great chances were carved out but

Their goal we'd not feed!

On half-time some classy play

Put Arch Galley through,

His shot rolled wide of the post

(It should have been two!)

In the second half the Reds

Owned it from the start,

Each chance missed the target though

Like a wayward dart!

Kerry was squared to with just

Fram's keeper to beat,

It was one of those days, the:

Outcome would repeat!

Boycie's cool free-kick was close,

Money from the bench

Could have cashed in twice to help

Shannocks - their thirst: quench!

One effort of his dragged wide

The second sailed high,

And big Billy at the end

Let a sizzler fly:

One day he will burst the net

But no-one knows Wenn...

When he does - a treat we'll get;

We can't wait 'til then!

Coxy led well from the back -

Did his grandad proud;

The match programme tribute: class

And a cracking crowd

Witnessed a determined shift

From the boys in red,

Who - have been saving their goals

For Downham instead!

At the end: pure theft it could

Have so nearly been,

But for Denham's top drawer save

Keeping his sheet clean.

To his left, at full stretch he

Made a worldie save,

From a late long distance strike;

A deserved close shave!

Sheringham's game was called off;

Covid in the squad

Of Downham - but they won't name

Those players. How odd...

"Wake me up from this nightmare!
This is one bad dream."
Our kettle was boiling, but
Rise would little steam!

One of those matches it was,
But - if truth be told,
Up front - finishing so weak;
Boots: covered in mold!

Like a pogo stick the ball
Bounced over their pitch,
Passing football on the deck
We would have to ditch!

In fact, the ground was so "hard"
That the Kray twins would
Mess their underpants if fall
Onto it they should!

A Tale of Two Pens in truth;
Is a Rule Book spare,
To send to the referee
To read, if he'd care?!

A foul on the eighteen yard
Line - a pen it is.
But, he gave a "free-kick" and
The rules quite a miss!

Drove's first half awarded pen
Was just in the box,
Denham's hand reached it, but up
We'd not pull our socks.

Lane would miss a sitter and
Cary - chances: four.
If we'd played 'til Christmas, though
We still would not score!

Boyce, as usual, bled for us
His shin: crimson red,
Money and Haylett dug deep
Haylett: problems - fed!

On came Gaffer from the bench
With his locks in place;
Our sole sub - but he, at least
Put smiles on each face!

"Brylcreem" for the hosts had some
Banter with the crowd;
Players, (with Haylo the most)
Were vocal: quite loud!

Parson held on for the points,
This game we can't "altar,"
Next week it's the FA Vase:
Our roots - we will water!

What can be said? What can be done?

Premature death of our Vase run.

Captain Cox was missing but -

A well-balanced game,

Ruined by the weakest ref. 

What a crying shame.

Boycie and Crosby went close

Very early on;

Thetford's strike - somehow: palmed in; 

Then all hope was gone:

Billy Wenn sent off! But... why?!

Who on Earth does know?

Like Pinocchio, the ref's

Nose would grow and grow!

Then skilful wee Money: fouled;

He won back the ball.

Ref blew up bizarrely and -

Down to nine we'd fall:

Sent off to the sin bin, and

That was "all she wrote."

Second half - a non-event;

Drowned - we - in the moat!

Fair officials we deserve,

Prices have but grown,

And fans should receive better

Than what we've been shown!

Thetford Town would soon walk in

Goals two, three and four.

But the game was truly dead

At half-time, for sure.

Boycie's passion near the end

Saw him sin-binned too,

As the harsh, dense Thetford Forest

Shannocks battled through.

One positive from the game:

King Abbo is back!

Skill and grit and bottle he'll

Never, ever lack!

Rain lashed down in Sheringham

North End came to town,

Huddled fans beneath the stand

Players left to drown!

Sausage was back for the Reds

After his brief spell

With the Yarmouth Bloaters and

He'd perform quite well.

Sloppy play allowed North End

To let one go - tame.

And, beneath young Oliver

It sneaked with poor aim.

Shannocks rallied (and with ten)

Left before half-time

Finally, upon the pitch -

Sun did start to shine:

Haylo's header - saved - but with

Connor Kerry's flick:

1-1, and it looked as though

Shezza would now click!

Haylo's sweet treat down the right

Picked out Connor Kerry,

Who served a tongue-tingling goal

Fit for Mary Berry!

Then, moments before the break

Ethan Lane struck low:

On the zippy turf it whizzed -

BANG! Our lead did grow!

North End's keeper 'Tango-ed!' But -

As crowd banter grew,

Second half clock ticked away;

Carelessness: it brew.

Shannocks caught out needlessly!

And - if truth be told:

Pointless play out from the back...

Pretty? Or fool's gold?

Pressure was invited on

And North End said, 'Cheers!'

As an easy one-on-one

Reduced their arrears.

Now with full momentum and

Nothing left to lose,

Up they pressed - their confidence

And belief did ooze.

Sadly, Denham off his line:

Down a player brought,

And the spot-kick was crashed home,

But we should report:

The lad made some cracking saves

And will just improve

With experience - no doubt;

From this, on we'll move

And be ready for Diss when

A new face joins us:

Striker Aaron Sanders whose

Engine's like a bus!

Shannocks grew an appetite

Their feast would not wait,

Very hungry were they and -

Like a King they "eight!"

Early Diss-appointment at

Weybourne Road did roam,

After a cross from the right

Was soon volleyed home.

But, on nine, to the byline

Haylo dribbled - fast,

And whipped a low ball across:

Kerry's close-range blast

Made it 1-1 and then Tim's

Nod would make it two,

Before curling a free-kick

Which - top left bins - flew!

Diss - down to 10 after a

Trip on Connor Kerry,

And Tim's first hat-trick complete,

On the cake - the cherry:

Sexy passing - Barca-esque

Movement - crisp and spruce;

Cary finished off in style

Pure goal-net abuse:

Poacher-like he struck home, calm

And - he was not done;

Boycie's worldie looping ball

Added to the fun.

Tim glanced home using his nut,

The team now on fire;

999 should have been called...

But the flames rose higher!

5-1 at the break but no

Signs of easing off;

Starving - every Shannock would

Fight to reach the trough!

Coxy at the back fought hard

With his bandaged head,

As - like Basil Fawlty he

With Billy Wenn - led.

Number 6 arrived on 9

In the second half:

Yet another whipped-in ball

Filled the goals-scored graph.

Off the post it hugged the net

(This one an O.G.)

And, in seventh heaven we

Entered after three

Minutes more: C.K. put Tim

Cary in for 5;

And his double hat-trick dream

Truly was alive!

Diss pulled one back from the spot

A mere consolation,

As the Shannocks juggernaut

Was not on probation!

Money - cheque his driving runs:

Top drawer, just like Lane

Who - down the right flank all game

Drove Diss Town insane!

Bobby took no prisoners,

The Diss-mantling spree

Was topped off with number eight

Made by tough Boycie!

Tim Cary fired home his SIXTH,

Each goal: 50p

His mum pays him - at this rate

A loan - need - will she!!

Next weekend we're on the road:

Debenham L.C.

If we play this way again

Goals - we'll guarantee!

At the Leisure Centre in

Debenham we saw

Colin, Laura, Mr Brittas...

Of that we were sure!

Hard-core Ultras stood and sat,

And they'd make some noise:

Banter and encouragement

From the Shannocks boys!

The game started scrappy and

Chances - far and few;

Over Denham's bar a good

Number of strikes flew!

"Wealdstone Raider" played at

Right back for the hosts.

He "wanted some" and his looks

Certainly he boasts!

Haylo down the right flank looked

Dangerous for Reds;

Hornets couldn't handle him,

He cut them to shreds!

Frustration grew as the horn

Blasted in shrill bursts;

The football of last week had

Dried up. Many thirsts

Needed quenching - and the best

Effort of the first

Took place just outside the box:

Through a pure sunburst!

Lane's low drive zipped its way through

Bodies... BANG! One nil.

Strangely though, last week's magic

We would not quite feel.

Billy Wenn's drive - just too high,

He and Coxy led

With big Hallers, who, as boss

Quality still fed.

In the second Sanders showed

Glimpses of his skill

Plus experience, and it

Would not be until

The last fifteen when Hornets

Almost stung the Shez:

With a bunch of long-range shots

As up they did press.

Oliver made decent saves

And, mention must go

To our John Travolta, whose

Hairdo stole the show!

Boycie (with his barnet) got

Stuck in with true grit.

He's a fans fave for a reason:

The fight - he'll not quit!

Plus - a huge boost for the club:

Sammy Walton made

His senior debut - it's his

First of many played!

Overall, a good three points

On the road, but next

It's league leaders Harleston...

A tough match - expect!

We will need to up our game,

Pass and move much quicker,

And whip balls across the box

With our runners - slicker!

Fans may not matter to "some"

But the Ultras know

That we'll cheer the lads on still

Wherever we go!

Current leaders Harleston Town

Rocked up at the Rec,

But - extension of their lead

Would take a rain check!

Shannocks started brightly, some

Passing - slick and neat

Set up hard-man, Benny Boyce

And his twinkling feet!

A low drive across the turf

After a touch - deft,

Caused the Ultras to explode:

Great goal - bottom left!

Harleston - a big, bulky team

Threatened, but persist

Did young keeper Oliver

Who would leap and "twist"

To keep his sheet EXTRA clean,

Daz could do not better;

If the exam board had watched

There'd be just one letter:

A! And that goes for the whole

Team, who - to a man

Battled hard for every ball

With a class game plan.

Focus through the match: top-notch

Better than Kodak,

And, there was one "incident"

When a shin went "crack!"

Boycie: just a little late...

Out a yellow came;

Marlene would have been proud though,

Passion in this game

Was immense; Cox hit the bar,

Three lungs Lane did run

Non-stop down the right hand flank -

Forest Gump's new son!

Alfie Mattocks - debut boy

On the left - joy found,

He worked so hard, was he up

For his paper-round?!

Lane would almost make it two,

Devlin - from the bench

Had a chance - when one-on-one

And, as for the "stench" ...

Coxy's pocket must now STINK

Air freshener, please...

For, all game - deep down inside

It was holding Cheese!

Billy at the back is due

A goal - it will come,

When it does (we know not Wenn...)

But we'll bang the drum!

Next week Wisbech visit us

Bottom side: St Mary.

If we play this way the prospect

Of goals: chilling; scary!

Halloween weekend: a fright

Early on there'd be,

Plenty of spirit did roam

But - no shock "we'd" see!

Shannocks battled patiently

And - on 39,

At last! Timmy down the left

Lashed low most devine!

And 6 minutes later, Tim

Just like versus Diss,

Stepped up to strike his free-kick

Which the net would kiss!

Over the wall it fizzed and

To the right it flew;

Scary for St Mary who

Received one big... BOO!

Second half was spooks galore,

Great tricks; treats a bunch:

Lane's fierce whip across the box

On - Boycie did munch!

Then KD with silky feet

Fit for Strictly would

Beat his man and hit from range;

Stop it? No-one could!

Haylo next poached in the box,

He needs not eat steaks

To destroy defenders - no...

His fuel: Jaffa Cakes!

Those three (talking of biscuits)

Money, Bobby, Haylo:

Take opponents on for fun,

What a cracking Triiiii-ooooo!

Confident, KD's deep sprint:

Finished with great power:

Haylo's cross he blasted home;

A new star did flower!

Still not done he tricked his man

On the left with ease;

Fouled - he took the penalty...

Hat-trick! Goal disease!

Shezza coped well at the back

Tranquil, full of zen;

Billy's blasts - he'll score one soon -

But we know not Wenn...

Three more points and three clean sheets

In a row; up next

Two away games on the trot;

Two tough games: expect!

First up it is Lincolnshire

New boys: Whittlesey,

When a full debut is made...

Ultras be: NOISY!

Fen winds could not halt our charge,

Shannocks - loud and proud

Put on a performance that

Showed we're well endowed!

Devlin charged the keeper down

And the loose ball - placed

Home amongst the swirling winds

As ear-holes embraced

Beating bangs and "horn"y sounds

High-pitch shrieks galore,

And it was not long until

Came the second roar!!

Cary's cross from deep out left

Strong and full of fire:

Dev's head would bonk home in style, Explosion - admire!

In the net: no sweat it shot

And the throbs and squeaks

In the harsh Lincs riding thrusts

Multiplied with leaks!

Shez would penetrate the box

K. D. should have scored

Number three and Whittlesey

Through our speed were floored!

Second half, Reds in full charge

Hosts - tied-up, but then

Somehow (to make it a game?)

Ref blew for a pen!

Maybe a fierce breeze was at

Fault; no-one did know

What it was awarded for!

But ref's lips did blow!

It was toe-poked home and Den

Guessed the wrong way and

From that moment on it felt

Ref did give his hand

To the hosts which then allowed

Him to go and "find"

Seven minutes to add on...

Blues came from behind:

Frantic punts were cleared but fall

Kindly did the ball,

Which was drilled home sloppily,

To make it two all.

Fireworks exploded, there

Were bangers, sparks flew;

Bobby gave the referee

A flame-blast - or two!

From this robbing we'll become

Stronger; we will grow

Harleston Town away is next:

Let the passion flow!

And the fans will fly the flag,

Make noise all game long,

As we cheer the Shannocks on;

This is but one song:

 "We're red

 We're white,

 We're flipping dynamite!

 Super Shez!

 Super Shez!"

 ,

Wilderness Lane - huge mud heap

Leaves lined the stage floor,

Tried us Ultras to make sound

(To great "tuts" galore!)

Library-esque; very poor

Passion - dead; extinct

The first forty on the pitch

Proved the two are linked?

2-0 down, avoidable

No fire from the bench;

But, on half-time we grew nuts

And turned, slow, the wrench.

Sanders volleyed home - box scramble

From a corner kick;

And it looked like in the second

A point + we'd nick!

Sanders was kept out twice by

Keeper and the flag,

And the gobby Harleston twit

Soon - himself - did gag:

Abuse - mouthing to the crowd

Fiaking some noise.

Pooped his pants he did though... "Do -

You know the Kray boys...?!"

Maybe we deserved a point,

But we started slow;

There's no true fight from the start

Bench vocals: too low!

Super Tim was just a sub

Boycie got stuck in;

Hand on heart - the top spot we've

Now tossed in the bin.

Each away game's but a slog,

We're a different team;

And that needs to be fixed it

We're to live the dream!

And the true fans rarely get

Thanks for their support;

When the full-time whistle's blown

Most games it is - NOUGHT!

Pump the horn and bang the drum

Cheer loud and be merry;

Sod those who are bitter; sour

Like a gone-off cherry!

We will chant and we will sing

Cheer the Shannocks - proud;

On those who get stuck in, Sun

Destroys each black cloud!