Shannocks Reports in Rhyme 2022/23 Season

Shannocks made their debut in

The Prem: Tuesday eve,

V Mulbarton Wanderers -

Up would roll each sleeve!

A tough battle did commence

Both sides strong and fit,

In defence - brick walls built deep

Chances: Shez edged it!

Hagan's 18-yarder dipped

Keeper beaten well...

Off the woodwork it kissed - sweet,

Our prey - we could smell!

Nelly the legend packed his 

Trunk and came back to:

Weybourne Road, and the big man

Showed what he can do:

His strength - unbelievable

Tonnes of fear he pumped

Into each opponent, who

To the man - were stumped:

Give the ball away - not once

Goals, though, would not come;

Ultras got behind their lads

(Horn-fuelled; minus drum!)

Mattocks, with his bleach blonde hair

Bossed the left-hand side;

Arch and Coxy at the back

Stemmed the dark blue tide.

Mulbarton were limited

A few hits: far out,

Denno dealt them with - pure ease

Confidence he'd spout!

Second half was much the same

A goal - hard to find;

A fantastic goalless draw,

(The type fans don't mind!)

Wanderers went down to 10

A stamp - red card raised;

And, to "even up", the ref

Shortly - he would "laze..."

Bobby's tackle...shown a RED!

Harsh to the extreme;

Hope we will appeal as we'll

Miss him from the team!

Super Shannocks wore the shirt

With true pride, next up

Off to March Town travel we

In the FA Cup!

Shannocks March-ed from Cambridgeshire

Into the next round,

The hosts - shredded well apart

In their old-school ground!

61 years - worth the wait

Local derby next:

Fakenham at Clipbush Park

A fierce game - expect!

Smith was put through on the left

But would fire wide,

Nelly had a sight of goal:

On the right-hand side.

Chances missed and as the Gods

Of Football oft' do...

Fail to take your gifts and they

Soon will punish you!

On the stroke of half-time most

Harshly, March would score:

A strike from 18-yards off

The post caused a roar

From the Hares supporters, but

Straight out of the blocks

In the second Shezza raced...

(They'd run off their socks!)

Smith - Diggo - Nelly: GOAL

Placed home for 1-1,

And the Reds were in the mood

To have tonnes of fun!

Diggo, put through: great low strike

Pushed wide - a top save;

Would the Shez now collapse; hide...

Oh no! Please! Behave!

Chances en masse were carved out

Butcher-esque and soon

Diggo's close shot: saved; hang on...

Keeper: unimmune!

Rebound smashed home: 2-1 Shez

Lead deserved - no doubt;

Chances flowed like BoJo's lies

Should have been a rout!

One hundred percent Hinton

2 wins out of 2,

Got the lads attacking hard -

Hares were in a stew!

Suzy with her sunglasses

Cheered on from the bench;

It was hot and Shannocks had

One big thirst to quench!

At the death - bombardment came:

Balls deep in the box

Caused the home fans to pipe up

But Arch and the Cox

Mopped up with ease; Billy Wenn

Came on: done his bit;

Sadly, Denno - injured, but

This lad's up for it!

He tipped, before injury

A class header wide;

And, with Billy now in goal

We'd not be denied!

2-1 to the Shannocks who

March on in true style;

All the fans who travelled wore

One proud joyous smile!

Shannocks pipped The Jockeys at

The Post: well deserved;

And, thanks to Pauling in goal

Net rustles we swerved!

On loan from Mulbarton he

Commanded his box;

With Billy Wenn and Archie

And our Captain Cox

Kept the Yellows at bay in

A heat so extreme

That it would melt cones of chips

Let alone ice-cream!

On the 3G surface Shez

Passed the football well,

And with 25 to play

A goal we could smell.

(Also Simon's armpits, which

Made a few folk shout,

And one extra-large nosed chap:

The pong knocked him out!)

Only joking! Simon and

Hardcore Shezza fans

Embraced the skills on display

And topped up their tans!

Shannocks rode the Jockey's waves,

Pauling's world class save

Tipped a curling strike well wide

And - off - threats we'd stave!

Then our keeper made the first:

Quick vision, great kick

Let George Diggens race through and

His lips he would lick:

Beauty of a lob bounced in

(Finished like a pro);

And just moments later: 2

A brace for Diiiiigo!

Kieran Hagan played him in

On the left hand side,

A fab set up it was and

Home with force he'd guide!

Shannocks were in full control

Diggo struck - just high,

Hagan then went very close,

To shoot - we weren't shy!

3 hard fought for precious points

This team just gets better;

From the start on Tuesday night:

Let's escape the fetter!

Thunder, lightning - several strikes

In front Shannocks charged;

Diggo's power free-kick: saved,

Who's goals-chart enlarged...

Nelly blasted home: 1-0!

Then, in saddened tone

I shall pen these angry lines

(But don't wish to moan!)

A class Nelly header in

The wrong net - one all;

And a mad spell cast itself

Our goal - they would maul!

2 & 3 - shots nothing great

Norwich now in front;

And on half-time, coffin nailed

Though, to be but blunt...

Poor sportsmanship from United

Our ball - unreturned;

Let this be a valuable

Lesson we have learned!

In the second - chances made

And on Haylo's head

Diggo's whipped free-kick, at last

Their net once more fed!

Beauty of a finish which

Gave the fans some hope;

Win, lose, draw - it matters not

Our love shan't elope!

It could have been 3, somehow

The ball was kept out,

And their keeper wasted time

(Took the pee, no doubt).

Just a yellow he received

But on we will grow;

FA Cup on Saturday,

It is time to show

How good this team truly is

Chances - if we take

Will carve the Ghosts wide apart;

The best cut of steak!

Clipbush Park in Summer

Greenest grass around;

Sadly, though, with hope afloat

Not a goal was found!

Best chance of the match fell to

Haylo - down the right;

His shot-cross just wide wandered

But the signs looked bright.

Robinson for Fakenham

Made some tricky runs,

Captain Cox led his troops as

We stuck to our guns.

A thin squad and one of those

Games when nothing clicked;

Keepers rarely troubled, twas

Scrappy: no side kicked

On to take it by the scruff,

Overall, a draw

Probably was fair, let's hope

Tuesday we'll restore

Our neat pacey passing game

And work out the nets,

Like we know we can and let's

Give the Ghosts the sweats!

At half-time a bit of fun

Took place from... the ground!

Up they popped to spray away

To a shock-moan sound!

Blast like mad the sprinklers did,

Mr Kodak: soaked!

Plus, poor Ernie's chair turned "damp"...

From his ears - steam smoked!

In the second half, strikes: high

Quality play: hid,

And, both teams I'm pretty sure

Will open their lid

And let loose on Tuesday night;

If Reds lose their fluster

Then, I'd bet that they can be

This time: a Ghost-buster!

The floodlights will twinkle bright

Drum and horn shall beam;

Lowestoft Town could await

For the winning team!

200 fans packed the ground,

Banter in the stand,

And support - LOUD - for the Reds

Library-zones: banned!

Shannocks started lively, big

Smithy looked a beast;

And it will not be long 'til

On goals he does feast!

Hagon - weaving down the left

Twinkle toes: extreme,

Sewed the Ghost's defence up tight

With a pretty seam:

PENALTY! No fuss was made,

That man: Super Tim

Calmly strode towards the spot...

Shez led the Prelim!

Chances manufactured like

Warehouses on speed,

A class turn and sprint by Smith

Could have grown our lead.

Totally, out of the blue

Just before the break

Fakenham would kiss the bar

(Cause us a bum-quake!)

Second half - pure domination

Hagon sewed once more

And stitched up the Ghosts for fun:

From the stand - a ROAR!!!

A great ball played Diggo in

And cucumber-style

Cool he drilled low past Tom Coombe

As flow like The Nile

Did the Ultras: noise FULL BLAST!

But, not just attack;

Shezza were outstanding too -

A dream at the back!

Coxy - stuck in with aggression

Alf, Haylo and Arch

With Bobby home in the team

Ensured on we'd march!

In the final minutes, a

Maizy Money run,

With ease the best path he chose

And the Ghosts were done!

Finish was fab: right and low

Coombsy stood no chance;

And, as top Ghost Busters, Shez

In the Cup - advance!

Haverhill? Or Lowestoft?

(Trawlermen we owe!)

This time let them be OUR catch

If it's Crown Meadow!

Shannocks were pecked in Woodbridge

But not helped by three

Baldy gents: the two linos

And the referee!

Each time a Woodpecker yelled

His whistle would blow,

And during the painful game

This lark seemed to grow!

Truth be told though: one of those

Matches - nothing clicked,

Nothing gelled and nothing worked

Self-harm we'd inflict!

Bullied from the whistle we

Were caught at the back,

And the hosts - clear - finished well:

With ease our nut - crack.

After Haylo's magic sponge

Session on the turf

Yet more choppy waves the Shez

Would then have to surf!

Woodbridge "won" a penalty

For what? No-one knew!

To the right it was smashed low

And frustrations grew.

The pitch - so hard that it would

Make the Kray twins cry;

At least lips in the stand were

Far from parched and dry!

Shannocks couldn't find a way

Through the Town defence, 

Corner kicks aplenty, but

None would cause offence!

In the second, much the same

With sand-timer low,

A cross on the right hand side

Caused the gap to grow.

3-0 and that was goodnight,

From this we will learn;

Pacey passing football must

At times - wait its turn:

Come back stronger, wiser and

Better from each loss,

Don't dwell on defeats and the

Future you will boss!

FA Cup weekend once more

Love Street - off we went,

Home of the hosts, Lowestoft

And a kiss was sent:

To the Shannocks badge with pride

Because in the sun

Fans and players fought for each

Ball, fearless: as one!

The start was a joyous dream

Ref's watch went tick-tock,

And with only 26

SECONDS on the clock...

Jamie Smith raced fierce to lob

Keeper flapped a tad,

Through the air it dipped - pure class

1-0! Fans went mad!

For each ball Reds battled hard

Bodies - thrown in front

Of each strike as on we'd hike

As the Blues did hunt.

Trawlerboys came close - the bar

To our aid arrived;

Denham in goal: worldie saves

Made sure we survived!

On the break the underdogs

Passed the ball quick; neat,

Nelly held it up well and

The King's nippy feet

With Tim Cary and the Hints

(The best brother there)

Dug deep and caused problems as

Horn blasts filled the air!

In the second, much the same

The bar wobbled loud,

But the home side were drowned out

By the Shezza crowd!

Nelly - Stone Cold in disguise?

(Stunned the Town all match),

Beat three men and his low ball

Almost let us snatch

A great second! Just yards out

It was begging to

Be pumped home, but onwards it

To the by-line flew.

Coxy at the back: The Boss

Sorted his troops out:

Haylo, Mattocks, Billy Wenn

Passion-filled - no doubt!

As the clock kept ticking down

A huge upset drew

Nearer and the celebrations

When the whistle blew...

Unbelievable! One team:

Players and the fans,

Cheered as the enormous wave

Of proud clapping hands

Saw the Shannocks safe ashore

Great mems: one huge batch;

Trawlerboys are flying high

But we weren't their catch!

P.S.

Needham Market we have drawn

Let's make history

In the next round of the cup,

On to victory

Let us cheer the lads on loud

And make Qual. Round 3! 

3 nil down at half-time, but

Shannocks don't give in;

Thoughts of defeat, self pity

Were tossed in the bin!

Poor defensive mishaps let

Fakenham Town score;

2 good Shez goals were chalked off

Lino: very poor.

Wattsy caused us problems yet

Still 3 goals behind,

Deep inside we felt a path

Way back we could find.

Bobby, Eli, Money: on,

With nowt left to lose

Shezza charged at Fakenham

Who began to snooze... 

Smithy's volley pulled one back

Then a Nelly ball

Played across the box smashed through

Ghost's now-crumbling wall.

Smith drilled home to make it 2,

Now in full control

It would not be very long

Until that third goal

Made it 3 all; Billy Wenn

In Maldini style

Rocketed a lengthy pass,

Sick it was! Pure vile!!!

Haylo's nut: BANG! Keeper: no

Chance, and with time left

Was our comeback halted by

A huge piece of theft?

Beazer fell hard! Was he shot?

Flat on his face he

Lay for time (cause unseen though)

By the referee.

Lino waved his eager flag

Then out popped The Red!

Had an Oscar-esque acting

Sequence just been fed...?!

Let's hope we appeal, but still

With time on their side,

Shannocks - on and off the pitch

Were not gonna hide!

Fight on hard for each ball, we

Sensed the points were there

Waiting for us to sweep up;

No chance we would share!

Edge of the box, left-hand side

Unleashed was a blast

With the speed of Usain Bolt...

In the lead at last!

Tim's dispatch: first class arrived,

Victory was stamped!

Up the vocals on and off

The pitch once more ramped!

A deserved win, dangerous

In attack we looked;

A much needed 3 points Shez

Served: and tasty cooked!

Attitude: fantastic, this

Team ALWAYS believe;

Never give up, battle strong:

Justice you'll receive!

FA Cup day, once again

Shannocks: on the road;

Needham, Step 3, semi-pro

And their fitness showed.

Extra pace combined although

Their shooting quite weak,

And with Shez owning their ground

A shock would we seek...

Nelly, beast-like, held the ball

And a strike away

He unleashed but truth be told:

It was not our day.

Low ball drove across our box;

Poked home, eagerly;

1 nil to the Marketmen,

Second half we'd see

Abbo from the bench arrive

And we had a go;

We knocked on the Needham door,

No-one was home, though.

Cary chuffed through, hit a shot

That went past the post

And, a dodgy penalty

Saw that we were toast.

Captain Cox (an honest man)

Said that it was not;

But the ref blew chirpily

And we'd had our lot.

2 nil full-time, Shezza did

Our town proud, without

Our key striker, Smithy, who

We missed without doubt!

A great cup run ended, but

What a run it's been:

For time in Shez memories

Replays will be seen!

Mulberry Park, FA Vase

Damp and drizzly day,
But the Shannocks army once
More came out to play!

It was a slog-fested start
Sluggish, boggy, strange;
The hosts bought a ticket and
Would receive some change:

A deflected strike, 1-0
Did the worst we fear?
No chance, at half-time a wee
Wallop up the rear

Sorted Shez out, second half
We grew; took control
And a Nelly lay-off saw
Hagan rock n roll!

Charging run and pacey smash:
One-a-piece, inhale
Fumes of victory noses
Could: we'd pick their Yale!

Clumsy tackle in the box:
Shannocks penalty!
Bill Wenn said "this is mine!"
And would let one free...

2-1 to the super Reds
But, uh-oh, next min...
Switched off from the restart and
Our lead: in the bin!

Equalizer slotted home
We, though, were not done,
Hagan fired inches high
After a neat run

And so it was penalties
Who would hold their nerve?
Mulbarton or Sheringham
The next round - who'd swerve...

Billy Wenn: goal! Money: goal
Denham to his right
Saved the third Mulbarton kick...
Such a happy sight!

Bobby: goal, big Nelly too
Wanderers must score...
Over the bar - in the bush
Vocal chords turned sore!

Shannocks won! 4 cracking pens
Southgate - on the phone
Could pick up a bunch of tips:
Bottle - these lads own!

The Pit - underneath the lights

Abbo: our true King

Poked home from a Haylo cross...

(No Ultras to sing)!

Heath drew level, at the break

Cocky, they did tweet,

And soon in the second half

Overhead - some feet

Made connection: 2-1 hosts,

Soon it jumped to 3,

But the super Shannocks don't 

Let their passion flee;

Class half-volley, five to play

By that man: Tim Cary

Looped home, 3-2, game on now

For the Heath: times scary...

Sadly the clock wound up quick

And defeat we'd have.

Truth be told, the final 5

Heath were in the lav

Pooping their pants! Nonetheless

We don't like to lose.

Ultras won't miss games again

Future droughts can snooze!

Bring on Haverhill, let's go

Smithy does return;

And those most frustrating thoughts

Shannocks here can burn!